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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27434254">Epilogue</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/OldGuardianNewTricks/pseuds/OldGuardianNewTricks'>OldGuardianNewTricks</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Life is... [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Old Guard (Movie 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Fluff, Booker &amp; Nicky bonding, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Family Bonding, Found Family, Lots of cuddles, M/M, Nicky has anxiety, The Guard’s All Here, booker is depressed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 01:20:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,683</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27434254</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/OldGuardianNewTricks/pseuds/OldGuardianNewTricks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The end is here- well for this series at least. I mean I think it is- they keep rattling round in my head. I don’t particularly like this but hey ho. </p><p> <em>Booker was back with his family. His whole family. Andy and Quynh. Joe and Nicky. And Nile. Wonderful Nile who seemed to be the glue binding them together. </em></p><p> <strong> TW-</strong> Andy cuts her hand- nothing graphic described but blood mentioned a fair bit.</p><p> </p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Quynh|Noriko/Andy|Andromache of Scythia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Life is... [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1990438</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>110</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong> Booker-</strong>
</p><p>Booker was back with his family. His whole family. Andy and Quynh. Joe and Nicky. And Nile. Wonderful Nile who seemed to be the glue binding them together. </p><p>They talked now. All together. About their feelings about everything and it was difficult at times but it was good. </p><p>They had all decided that they needed a break from missions. They’d take the occasional recon job from Copley but nothing that involved them all at once. Not yet, not until they trusted him completely- and not whilst Quynh was newly back and Andy was mortal. </p><p>Andy was a different person. The hard but haunted general was gone. She was softened and rounded by Quynh. Booker thought it was like seeing her fully whereas he had only been seeing her shadow before. </p><p>Quynh was a delight. Funny, loving and feisty. She was adapting to the world around her remarkably quickly but she and Andy took off together for months at a time. They wanted to spend all the time they could together now. Making up for what had been stolen and aware, all too aware of Andy’s mortality. They kept in touch and often would come home for a weekend.</p><p>Joe was in his element. He was the sun, everyone yearned to be in his presence. He had a newly invigorated spring in his step around Nile. He was determined to show her the world. They would often go to art galleries together and come back passionately discussing what they had seen. Booker and Nicky would just smile and nod, happy to be in their glow. </p><p>Booker had stopped drinking and was seeing a therapist. And it was helping. He had days that were worse than others but he was getting there. Determined to do this for his family, and, to do this for him. </p><p>Nicky was the biggest surprise. Booker hadn’t ever disliked Nicky-not truly but there was always a barrier there. Andy was easy to get along with, to get drunk with and wallow in their shared grief. Joe was Joe. He was warmth on a cold day, he was easy to talk to, easy to be with. Nicky was, well, Booker had thought him a cold fish. Calm, certainly. Caring for the others, wanting to feed them and make sure they had what they needed. He was undoubtedly a good man but he just couldn’t bond with him. He caught Nicky looking at him sometimes- that passive face, big eyes but what the hell was he thinking. </p><p>One day, early on in Booker’s immortality he’d been alone in some house when he walked in on Nicky collapsed in the living area. He was gasping for breath, shaking and crying. Booker was, to put it bluntly, frightened. He had no idea what to do. He did the only thing he could think of and ran for Joe. He hadn’t seen the desperate look of fear on Nicky’s face as he’d turned and ran from the room. When he’d found Joe and brought him back he stayed away. Not wanting to intrude on whatever the hell this was- and it had looked like Nicky was in hell. </p><p>The next day Nicky was pale and drawn. He didn’t mention what had happened and so neither did Booker. Joe had cuddled Nicky to him, wrapping him in his arms and letting him drift off. Andy had suggested that she take Booker away for a few days. And just like that the pattern was set. Nicky suffered, Booker politely ignored it. Nicky withdrew from Booker. Booker closed off to Nicky.  </p><p>Booker had broken down and cried when he’d come face to face with Nicky for the first time after his exile had been ended. He’d expected that reaction with Andy and with Joe. But Nicky took him by surprise. Nicky had seemed nervous and had made Chicken Chasseur- Booker’s favourite. They’d cried and hugged and it was, nice.</p><p>Nile had made them all sit down together and talk. Explain how they felt and what was going on. She left Nicky till last. Then had taken his hand and said </p><p>“You should tell them. They love you.”</p><p>And Nicky had stared at the table but told them about his anxiety and what helped when he was not so good.</p><p>There was a lot of hugging after that and Booker had taken Nicky off to one side. He’d blurted out</p><p>“I didn’t know.”</p><p>Nicky looked a little surprised and said </p><p>“You left me Book. I couldn’t breathe and you left me.”</p><p>Booker felt like Nicky had stabbed him. In fact he would rather Nicky had stabbed him. </p><p>“I didn’t know what to do so I went to find Joe. Then the next day you didn’t mention it so....”</p><p>And Nicky just said </p><p>“Oh.”</p><p> </p><p>Nile had sat with Booker one day and offered him her <em> “Field spotter’s guide to Nicky.” </em> Booker had laughed but actually he had to admit it was useful. She pointed out the little warning signs that Booker began to recognise like a clench of Nicky’s jaw, the way he’d start to rub his arms or the slight shuffle he’d do when shy or unsure. He also started to spot the way his lip quirked in an odd little smile that was just so Nicky. The way he snorted when he laughed that was frankly adorable. How had he seen this face as passive for so long? She had also pointed out all that Nicky did for them. Nicky was the true heart of this weird family of theirs. The food he prepared when he knew someone needed their favourite meal. The way he would appear if someone had a nightmare. He asked for very little in return but when Nile got Booker to truly look he could see how much Nicky relished a pat on the shoulder, someone playing with his hair or cuddling him. He was constantly snuggling up to Joe or Nile. Quynh and Andy too when they were home. Booker began to look on longingly but he didn’t know how to approach Nicky, and Nicky was hanging back from Booker.</p><p>Not a week later his hand was forced by Nile, with approval from Joe he found out later. Quynh and Andy were on a three month trip in South America. They were holidaying and doing a little bit of recon for Copley. Joe was shopping for art supplies before heading to a newly opened art exhibition. Nile had said she’d meet him there.</p><p>Nicky was missing Quynh and worrying about Andy so was wanting to be hugged a bit more than usual. He was currently curled up with his head on Nile’s lap. Booker reading opposite them. Nile glanced at the clock and said </p><p>“Book, I have to go.”</p><p>“Ok”</p><p>“No Book, I have to go and...”</p><p>She gestured at her lap full of Nicky.</p><p>“Oh”</p><p>“Yeah, so can you come over here?”</p><p>“Um...”</p><p>“Oh come on, he doesn’t bite. Well, he probably does bite Joe but that’s an image I don’t want.”</p><p>“Fine.”</p><p>Booker closed his book and crossed to Nile, she gently pushed Nicky up and stood up. Booker took her place and Nile lowered Nicky so his head was on Booker’s lap. </p><p>“See you later.”</p><p>Booker had felt tense at first but Nicky just slept on. Booker grew bolder and picked his book back up. He wasn’t quite sure how to turn the page so he placed his hand on Nicky’s head, balanced the book on that and was quite pleased with the result. </p><p>20 minutes later he felt Nicky wake up so he removed his hand. Nicky yawned and stretched, honestly he was a cat in human form. Then he looked up and froze. It would have been hilarious had Nicky not looked quite so unsettled.</p><p>Booker closed his book gently and placed his hand gently back on Nicky’s head</p><p>“Hello, Nile had to go and you were out of it so she thought....I’m sorry maybe I shouldn’t have.”</p><p>Nicky just blinked at him.</p><p>Booker removed his hand.</p><p>“Sorry Nicky.”</p><p>Booker tried to get up but he still had a lapful of confused sniper.</p><p>“S’ok”</p><p>“Pardon?”</p><p>“It’s ok, thank you.”</p><p>In a movie or a fairy tale the bond between himself and Nicky would have been sealed at that point. But life is rarely so simple. However, from that moment on Booker and Nicky both made a huge effort to spend time with each other. Booker asked him what he should he do if Nicky had a panic attack and Nicky explained. Nicky sat up with Booker one night, when Booker couldn’t sleep and was trying not to drink, and asked him to tell him about his wife and children. Booker had cried, Nicky had held him. And the bond grew. </p><p>Six weeks later  Quynh and Andy were back for a few days on a “holiday from their holiday”. Quynh, Andy, Joe and Nile were at the cinema. Quynh was enraptured by the big screen the more explosions the better. Booker and Nicky hadn’t been that keen so stayed home. Booker was drinking a particularly strong and alcohol free coffee when Nicky shuffled into the living room biting his lip.</p><p>“Nicky?”</p><p>Booker asked gently</p><p>“NeedToSleepButUh”</p><p>Mumbled Nicky without looking up.</p><p>Booker coughed, then lifted his arm and smiled gently. Nicky hesitated then did a little skip/run to the sofa where he tucked himself under Booker’s arm. Booker said nothing but ran his fingers through Nicky’s hair till he was asleep, and for a good while after. All was peaceful till the others got back and Joe attempted to hug both Booker and a still sleeping Nicky at the same time. This resulted in an undignified yelp from Nicky and Booker calling Joe</p><p>“A silly loud man.”</p><p>Whilst pulling Nicky back to him and carding his fingers through his hair again. </p><p>Joe had positively beamed at them. Andy had taken a photo and Nicky had gone back to sleep. At that moment Booker felt a warmth flow through him that had been missing for so, so many years. </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Nicky-</strong>
</p><p>A year after Merrick and 6 months after Quynh and Booker returned Nicky wakes up alone. That’s not unusual because he’s been sleeping a lot more since Merrick but it’s a bit unexpected because Nicky had kept Joe very busy and very much not asleep for most of last night. He runs his hand over the sheets and finds them still warm. Not gone for long then. He stretches and grabs a pair of shorts and a t-shirt from their dresser and heads towards the kitchen. </p><p>Opening the door he feels his heart lift. Joe is standing at the stove making blueberry pancakes with Nile desperately trying to steal them from the stack at his side. Joe’s fending her off using a spatula. Andy is sitting at the table with a laughing Quynh in her lap. Booker is smirking into his coffee pretending to be uninterested in the whole fiasco. </p><p>Feinting left Nile manages to dart right at the last second and grab two pancakes. One she shovels into her mouth the other she throws to a clapping Quynh. Joe growls and starts to advance on Nile. </p><p>“Nicky save me.” </p><p>She yells dramatically before hiding behind him and wrapping her arms around his waist.</p><p>Booker produces a wooden spoon from somewhere and tosses it to Nicky who catches it despite being still half asleep. Brandishing it he steps forwards to meet Joe. </p><p>“My love, would you really side with Nile?”</p><p>“My all, do you think me a fool? Of course I’m siding with Nile.”</p><p>Nile high-fives Nicky whilst yelling </p><p>“Yes, c’mon Papâ.”</p><p>Joe attempts to look wounded and fails miserably so just goes with his usual gorgeous smile.</p><p>They “sword-fight” their way around the kitchen. Impressively both managing to hit Booker who grumbles half-heatedly. Nile insisting on clinging to Nicky which really doesn’t help him and eventually they all collapse into a heap. </p><p>Nicky pushes Nile alway and screams</p><p>“Save yourself!”</p><p>And then giggles as Joe proceeds to tickle his husband and then kiss the breath from him. </p><p>They don’t stop for the smoke alarm. </p><p>Booker had got up to finish the pancakes and brings them to the table. That finally gets Nicky to drag Joe to his feet. </p><p>They eat chatting about what they should do today. And Nicky feels the need to say</p><p>“I think we should go back to work. We can trust Copley and we could do some good. We <em> should </em> do some good.”</p><p>The others agree and Andy stands to clear the plates. She washes up as the others all clear up and go to get ready.</p><p>Nicky heads to the bathroom to tie his hair back, he wonders if he should cut it if they are going back to work but the others do like it.</p><p>“They won’t hug you if you have short hair, they just like playing with it.”</p><p>Says the voice in his head and he does like it when the others play with it but </p><p>“NICKY!”</p><p>He’s out of the bathroom before he can work out who called him. Quynh is standing next to a pale and trembling Andy. Nile hovering beside them. Andy’s hand is wrapped in a very blood stained towel.</p><p>“I, a knife, I didn’t.”</p><p>Nicky crosses to her and calmly takes her hand</p><p>“I need to see Andy.”</p><p>He asks Joe to bring his medical kit and starts to unfold the towel, Andy looks away and buries her head on Quynh’s shoulder. Nile goes to stand next to Booker and Joe runs back in with Nicky’s medical bag.</p><p>Nicky feels slightly detached as he gently, ever so gently unwraps the towel. There is a lot of blood and, ever working in sync, Joe hands him antiseptic wipes before Nicky can ask for them. </p><p>He cleans away the blood already mulling over whether sutures will be needed or if Steri-strips will do the job when he realises, slowly that there is no wound. He blinks and looks at Joe who is just staring at Andy’s hand. Nicky rubs a little harder but there is no wound. It’s healed.</p><p>
  <em>It’s healed.</em>
</p><p>Nicky laughs. A bright clean sound that has the others all looking at each other. There is silence as they all come and stare, as Andy and Quynh look from her hand to each other. Then, when they have looked as long as they can, when the wound doesn’t magically re-open there is an explosion of noise. Nicky hugs whoever he gets hold of first. He falls into Joe’s arms and they kiss each other. Andy and Quynh are crying happy tears and holding each other. Booker is swinging Nile round and round. Then Nicky finds himself in Booker’s arms and Joe has Nile in his. </p><p>They end up in one enormous cuddle pile for the rest of the day. Nicky eventually gets up to cook and is joined by all of them in the kitchen. It makes it harder to cook but he can’t bear to send them away. </p><p>They sleep in the living room that night. All together. For once Nicky is awake after the others have drifted off. He smiles warmly at them all. He’s safe in Joe’s arms with Nile beside him, she’s fallen asleep holding his hand her head pillowed on his arm. Booker is slumbering peacefully next to Nile with Andy and Quynh wrapped up in each other next to him. </p><p>Nicky knows now that the anxiety will never leave him. He knows now that the voice will continue to plague him. He knows now that he will have more panic attacks. It’s all a part of him but with his Joe next to him, with Nile loving him as she does, his daughter in so many ways and with his family around him he knows now that he can be himself and they will help him through. </p><p> Nicky falls into a peaceful sleep in the arms of his family.</p><p>He is loved. </p><p>He is safe.</p><p>He is home.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you have read this thank you so much.</p><p>I don’t know if I actually dislike this because it’s really not very good or because annoyingly my anxiety is up and my inner voice is being a shit much like Nicky’s.</p><p>For all of you who have left kudos and  such lovely comments on this series- you don’t know how much they’ve meant to me.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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